So here I am, sitting on the couch, being kicked by a snoring dog and I have a thought; why don’t I get my laptop, go online and have an aul’ moan about life… so here goes…
Right, so this is going to be less of a topic-focused piece of writing and more of a ‘make it up as I go along and hope it’s not sh*t’ sort of thing.
I haven’t really felt like writing anything lately and I wasn’t sure why. Now that I think about it, I think it’s because my life is boring as f*ck and I had nothing to write about. Ah no, I’m only kiddin’… It’s only a little bit boring!
So for anyone who hasn’t read my other blog posts, I talked before about how I went for the manager’s position where I work because it suddenly ‘became vacant’. (That kind of sounds like something really sinister happened to my boss but no, they were just fired.) I don’t even know if I’m allowed to talk about this but sure f*ck it. YOLO and all that.
So anyways, after 2 months of working in the store alone, waiting and waiting for an answer about the job, I was finally told that my old boss was being given their job back, due to a ‘technicality’ and they would be coming back to work, wait for it….. THE NEXT DAY. Talk about a slap in the face. All I could do was laugh at the time…. Ha.
It actually didn’t bother me that I hadn’t gotten the job, but it was more the fact that they had gotten their job back when they so obviously didn’t deserve it. (That’s a story for another day.)
Cutting a very long story short, I am now working in one of the Dublin branches covering for other staff for the time being. It’s a pain in the hole having to drive up and down everyday, but in the last 2 weeks, I’ve met some genuinely nice people who work for the company and we get along really well, so the craic has been ninety.
My options at the minute come down to these; go back to working in the branch I was originally in (yeah right), keep travelling up and down to Dublin everyday making my commute time almost 4 hours per day and spend a fortune on diesel and the tolls, find myself a new job or quit my job and go on a year-long sesh around the world. (The last one’s my fave.)
I actually have no idea what I’m going to do. Luckily enough, I have a week off starting on Tuesday so I can have a think about it. I’m usually a realist about these things and go for the smartest (most boring) option, but to be honest, I am getting sick and tired of always doing the realistic thing all the time. I know for a fact that in 10 or 20 years time I will look back and completely regret it if I waste my whole life just working and having nothing to show for it. I know this is getting a bit heavy and serious now, so here’s a cute pic of a dog wearing a wig to lighten the mood a bit…
So yeah, that’s my current predicament. Or part of it anyway. Don’t even get me started on the other stuff!! I suppose I am just at a stage now where I feel as if I should be doing so much more than I am at the moment. I’ve realised that I’m the sort of person who hates predictability and I quickly get fed-up of doing the same thing over and over again to the point where I think I’m going mad! I have all these plans in my head and I think I’ll burst if I don’t just get off me arse and do something about them! Something as simple as going to see some old friends from school seems like an impossible task anymore but that’s so stupid! You know there’s something wrong when you don’t even have the time to do that. Then I see other people on all these great adventures around the world and all I feel is complete jealousy! Pure, thick, green in the face jealousy… Obviously I’m happy for them too but I’d be happier if it was me!
I spend an awful lot of time online ‘planning’ my next trip or adventure but I never actually do it. What’s stopping me?… ME! It’s my own fault! What am I so afraid of? Obviously you have to think about money and that too but I don’t even think that’s to blame.
I think I am just feeling a little bit lost at the minute. With the way work is going and the way I’m sort of just floating about not knowing where I will end up, I feel as if this should be a turning point but I don’t really know what way to turn! (Any guidance would be appreciated!)
Yeah, I know this is seriously a first-world problem compared to most things, but it’s kind of a big issue in relation to whether or not I’ll be happy in life and to be honest, I’m not happy now… and if you’re not happy, what is the point?
PS: I know this is a proper rant/moan, but I think we all need to have one every now and then!